The Packers are being Packed

This game doesn’t look so good for the Packers. They were down by six at the end of the first half. The Chiefs aren’t quite converting their plays into touchdowns, but they’re managing. Orton is playing injured, but playing good nonetheless. I hope that if the Packers do end up losing, it won’t ruin my FIL’s mood. He’s been in the nicest spirit since I’ve met him. Even made us breakfast this morning!

As I watch the game, I flip through the pages of “Night Watch.” I’ve owned this book for more years than I can remember. For some reason though, I was only able to read some fifty pages before I put it away for a long time. I picked it up once more recently, and can’t quite understand what happened before. It is a very intriguing story- I like the characters and I sure love the fact that it’s happening in England, right after the end of WWII. Maybe school got in the way before? We might never know.

Anyhow, I’m feeling super weird today. Until recently, I had been thinking that today was Monday. Never mind the football game, or that my FIL was at home watching it (he works office hours), I didn’t connect the dots. I even kept checking my grades frantically since Monday is the deadline for the professors to boost or ruin my GPA (not that they ever stick to deadlines). I also keep feeling like there’s something I’m supposed to do but nothing comes to mind. Perhaps I was kept on my toes for so long this past quarter, that I haven’t quite adjusted to the routine of having nothing to do or nowhere to be. Funny how that works- I looked forward to this moment so much after going through a week of school without being able to take any Vicodin (I was in pain 24/7). I hoped so much that I could not worry for a moment about being sick or having a paper to write for just a couple of days. And now that I’m here where I wanted to be, I keep feeling like I’m forgetting to do something. It’s almost as annoying as getting to a place and wondering the whole time if you remembered to lock your car door, but not being able to go back and check.

I think I hear the game starting again…

-Mrs. This One

On Steady Ground

We made it here safely. The drive seemed to drag forever, but it could have been tiredness playing tricks with my mind. The caffeine didn’t help either. But it was better to have some of it than nothing at all.

Chinese takeout was a great treat. We split some Mongolian Beef with Lettuce Wraps. I was lucky to find a diet Mountain Dew in my in-laws fridge. They’re not really the soda type. And I guess I’m not either, but water gets tiring from time to time. Besides, I could use yet more caffeine to stay awake. My MIL (mother-in-law) is working, so we have to stay up at least until she gets home. I’m about ready to take a shower. That should give me some sense of renewal.

The first thing I noticed when I walked in earlier was the Christmas tree. It has the perfect shape. I love Christmas trees. I grew up with fake ones my whole life, so it was nice to marry into a family that used real ones. Though I probable would have broken my family tradition at some point. I guess I will soon enough. Which reminds me- my FIL asked over dinner when we were planning to have kids. It was and will forever be an awkward conversation… specially since we need help to make babies appear. But that’s alright, I’ve never minded the shortcomings of being a lesbian.

If there’s something I look forward to when I’m on a school break is reading. You’d think I’d get tired of doing so because I have to read so much for school, but this is different. There’s nothing like reading for pleasure- without overanalyzing every single word you read. I brought three books with me: “The Night Watch” by Sarah Waters (fiction), “The Return” by Daniel Treisman (Non-fiction, and he’s a UCLA professor!), and “Global Community” by W.M. Spellman (Non-fiction). Of course I probably won’t read all of them, but sometimes I like to spice it up a bit with some variety. My MIL also rented several movies for us to watch through the weeks. And! We might go to ZooLights at the Phoenix Zoo. I’m actually excited about the last one. We went there three Christmases and it was really fun- I’ve been wanting to do it again ever since. Besides these, my weeks will be filled with applications and essays. Fun, I know. Though, I’m gonna be watching the Packers-Chiefs game tomorrow with my FIL. That should be nice…

Okay, I really should go shower now.

-Mrs. This One

 

Waiting for Christmas

It should be 62 degrees outside, but in this studio, it feels like 50. While I try not to dwell on the lack of a heating device, the hammering from the construction going on in the lobby of the building causes me more distress than anything else. Is it Christmas yet?

I received my first grade of the quarter last night. An A-. Not the best, but also a little too good to be true, given the fact I went through months of homework, papers and exams, while enduring a lot of pain without being able to take my meds. I’d like to pat myself in the back, but there are three more grades pending- and I might not get so lucky the next time.

This past week came and went. It was the last one after finals, and it felt like just another week. I interned for four days, and I also got my old job back. Not thrilled about the latter, but we need money, and no one else is hiring. I’d like to say that I finally get to rest, but now it’s time to get my law school applications ready and hit “apply” about 17 times. On the bright side, I haven’t given the LSAT a second thought. Though between you and me, I think about January 6th (the day scores are released) every day.

We’ll be driving for a while tomorrow, and then we’ll spend a couple of weeks with my in-laws. I keep telling myself that I’m fine with this but for the first time, all I want is some quiet time with my girl away from everything- including family. But I know this is selfish, so I wave my desires away. Some day, I say.

I have no lists this time. No resolutions. Everything just got too tiring. We drove for a while last night to pick up a much needed paycheck (hers not mine), and I counted only 1 out of every 15 houses had Christmas lights on. It was saddening to see the spirit dying, but with this economy, I cannot blame anyone for wanting to cut some costs by letting decorations gather more dusts in a crowded basement room.

In the search of happiness I’ve realized that I like simplicity but some variety helps. For some reason watching two full football games kept my spirits up for the rest of the day. Who knew I loved football that much. Although you gotta admit that the Broncos-Bears game was a heck of a game. Except for the fact that I disagree with the newspapers. I love Tebow and all, but give Prater some credit. The man tied and won the game, and that’s the end of the story. Now I’m looking forward to the college bowl games. UCLA is playing Illinois on the 31st, and Auburn is playing Virginia later that day. If I can watch both games I’ll be golden. If I can hold my girl’s hand to receive the new year I’ll be… what’s better than golden? Double golden?

-Mrs. This One

Happiness

Another birthday went by. The realization that things are not exactly the way you’d like them to be hits harder and harder these days. This may or may not have been made worse by the fact that I had to spend my birthday writing a final paper. Whatever happened to birthdays being the one day out of the year where you got to do anything and everything you wanted to? You know the drill- mom cooks your favorite meal, you’re allowed to miss school, watch cartoons until noon, etc.

I guess I’m an adult now and things are not quite the same. Sure, I could have spent my day not writing my paper and risk failing a class. But the consequences outweigh the benefits by tons of tons. So I declined every invitation to go out in order to make sure I get a decent grade on that paper.

But this is just a symptom. My family is not doing well these days. By default, that carries over onto me. No matter how hard I try to not let it bother me, it simply does. You worry about those you care about, it’s hard-proven science (it might not be, so don’t quote me on this). The problem is not the worrying about the family, but rather worrying about the family when I’m going through one of the most stressful times in my life. These things get to you.

So today I did what the most rational person in my generation would do, I Googled “why don’t I feel happy with my life.” The majority of results were useless. Forums of people saying the kind of thing I’d say: “look at the bright side of things!” But what should we do if the bright side is not appealing anymore?

Luckily I did find an article about how humans are ironic beings because we want to be happy yet we rarely do things that make us happy (I forgot what article it was, so if you’re the author, tell me and you’ll get full credit). So I wrote a list of things that I could think of that I knew made me happy (besides my wife). Since I know you’re dying of curiosity, this is what the list looked like (there is no particular order):

What makes me happy (besides my wife)?

• Playing soccer.
• Reading for pleasure.
• Watching football games.
• Going to the movies.
• Walking/running.
• Doggies.
• Writing [both blogging and creative (scripts and short stories)]
• Learning to play an instrument (at one point, this was drumming).
• Conversing.
• Shopping.
• Sitting outdoors (in a park setting…)
• Working out (when nothing hurts).
• TV, sometimes. (One Tree Hill, Friday Night Lights, Glee, Grey’s Anatomy, Desperate Housewives, Saturday Night Live, Family Guy).
• Tennis (I know, I was surprised too).
• Plays (theater).
• Videogames.

Two things struck me as odd when I ran out of things to list. First, blogging was in this list (which may explain why I’m here tonight). And second, I realized that I don’t really do most of the things on this list. It is true that I’ve been sick all quarter so my time has been more limited than usual- but in reality, I don’t engage in most of these things because of lack of time or money. Ironic, isn’t it?

I shared the list with my wife who insists I pick a bullet point per week and do it. There is a chance I will try this, but we all know how trying to put things in your schedule work versus those that just happen.

In any case, one class done, three more to go.

-Mrs. This One

Let’s Talk Super Bowl!

I don’t know about you but I have been waiting for this day since February 1, 2009.

Big Ben

Despite the sexual assaults accusations (that were later dropped), or that I don’t really like Miami (OH), I’m looking forward to what Ben Roethlisberger will have to offer today, during Super Bowl XLV. Sure there is more to football than a quarterback, but there’s also little football without one. Ward, Polamalu, Taylor, Farrior, Harrison, Moore, Wallace and others are just as needed in this team as Big Ben is.

But what is the Super Bowl?

The Super Bowl is a well-established tradition. A hint of this is that even those without a team watch. And even those with lack of love for football watch.

It is an excuse to celebrate another day- or personally, to take a break from studying for midterms.

It’s a drinking game. One shot for every completed pass, four for every interception.

It’s a longing. To make every second count hoping that miracles would come true, because you’ve never needed them as much as in the last two minutes of the fourth quarter.

It’s a desire. To watch your team rise and shine despite of how good the other team may be.

It’s about glory. Because if your team wins, you get to brag about it for a whole year.

It’s a party. Because even those you haven’t seen in a while want to watch it with you, and you’ll probably find there are people in your house you’ve never seen before the game started.

It’s a winning moment. Because even if your team isn’t playing, half of the players in each team are in your fantasy team.

It always involves tears. Whether you win or lose.

And it always involves a fight. Because no one can stand to lose.

Bring the beers and the guacamole, sit back and enjoy. But mark my words (or mock me afterwards), this one is a Steelers one!

-Mrs. This One

NFL Playoffs: House Divided

It should not come as a surprise to most of you that today Green Bay will be facing Chicago, and soon after, Pittsburgh will play New York (Jets). I’ve been a Steelers fan since as long as I can remember. It makes little sense really, considering the fact that I’m not from Pittsburgh and I’ve never been to a Steelers game physically. But coming from a state with no NFL teams (AL), you end up choosing a team whether you have geographical ties to it or not.

Most of my friends were either Falcons or Saints fans. I didn’t like either team when I was little. But I saw a Steelers game on TV once and it was love at first sight right after that. I couldn’t help myself. The colors, the plays, the moves… everything about the Steelers seemed magical to me. And it probably helped that my brother was already a well-established Steelers fan (although I never asked him how he ended up that way). The point is that I have always been a hardcore Steelers fan. And although I haven’t been present at Heinz Field yet, I know one day I will.

It is obvious that today is a big day for me then. I am counting the minutes until I get to watch the game. It helps that we’re playing the team where Mark Sanchez is at because I want the Steelers to crush him. Seven times over. He is a former Trojan- in case you were wondering. And I am a proud Bruin.

But the following is my dilemma. My father-in-law is actually from Green Bay so he’s a Packer and has always been. There is a chance that the Steelers and the Packers end up playing in the Super Bowl against each other. My wife, being his daughter, told me today that she has to root for the Packers because it’s in her DNA. “But you don’t even care about football!” I said. She simply grinned and I could tell she was enjoying every bit of this. So I guess this household is divided for now. But I’m not worried because I know the Steelers got this one.

-Mrs. This One