It’s official, I’ll be moving closer to Westwood over the summer- more importantly though, I’ll be moving in with my girlfriend.
One of the things that I think dooms us, gay people, is the fact that certain people think we’re trying to break the status quo of society: man flirts with a woman, they get married, have children and then the cycle repeats itself. Gays on the other hand, we’re deviants, weirdos, queer, and whatever else that people go around saying.
When I met my girlfriend, I told her that I wasn’t looking for anything serious. It wasn’t because I didn’t really want anything serious with her, but because I was tired of people not wanting something serious with me. So much that I had given up trying. In reality, I have been wanting something serious my whole life.
When I was little, I used to dream of growing up, going to school, getting married to my college sweetheart, move to a nice house, have children and then watch them go away to college while my sweetheart and I would grow old together. Somehow, even when little, I just knew that my sweetheart wasn’t going to be a man. I was too little to understand why I felt that way, but I still dreamed of that fantasy.
When I first dated, I dated a boy- because that’s what you’re supposed to do if you’re a girl; you go date that nice young man who lives down the street. This nice young man was indeed really nice, but I never looked forward to seeing him- it was almost like something I had to do. That feeling changed when I dated a girl. I could feel that excitement in me just with the thought of seeing her later (even calling her!)- it was indeed what I imagine 16-year-old straight girls feel over boys… I just felt it for girls. My fantasy once again made sense. Although, I would soon find out that not everyone has the same fantasy.
Girl after girl after girl, okay it wasn’t that many, but still- I realized that people in general, aren’t serious about spending the rest of their lives with just one person. It doesn’t matter if you’re straight or gay, we live in a society that praises promiscuity. Same-sex couples aren’t trying to damage “the institution of marriage,” individuals with lack of love and commitment are the ones doing all the damage.
My girlfriend and I eventually realized that when we were little, we wanted the same things (specially coming from very Republican states) but down the road, we found people who hurt us and we forgot what was like to be little and dream of things. Dream of very good things.
Now let me tell you about my dreams. I fantasize about the day my girlfriend and I move in together (which will be very soon). About the day we can get married (and be protected under rights that say we are each other’s spouse). Then the day we have the house, and the kids, and how we’ll split our schedules to pick them up from school- or when I’ll have to get out earlier from work to go to a soccer game (or a piano recital).
I apologize if I don’t fit the stereotype; if I’m not the deviant trying to corrupt society. I just happen to be like any other girl. Just a very traditional girl (who happens to love another girl).