The common myth that being gay is a lifestyle choice is just that, a myth. During the first year after I was outted to my mother, she told me once during a phone conversation that all I needed “was to have sex with a man to know that my liking for women was just in my head and not real at all.” Because she was older and more experienced to my eyes, and I was just an 18 year-old that didn’t know what was best for me, I decided to give it a try.
He was a really nice guy. We did date for a bit and I did like him. I didn’t think I liked him the way I had liked women at that point, but I knew that if I had to go for the extreme measure in order to “fix what was wrong with me,” then he would be the guy.
Up until today, I still wish with all my heart that I had never gone through that experience. It simply didn’t feel right. I know people have told me it’s supposed to feel “natural” but it didn’t. Not for one moment. I was very disturbed afterward. At least for a little while.
I still don’t understand the logic behind people’s obsession over other people’s lives. I don’t have a girlfriend to upset anyone, I have a girlfriend because I love her. Because with her, it actually feels “natural.” The easiest way for me to look at it is that if you’re a straight man/woman, the idea of loving another man/woman as a partner is nonsensical- the same is for me when thinking of being with a man.
Perhaps I do have the choice to be with my girlfriend, but I didn’t choose to fall in love with her. And if you really think it’s a crime/sin to choose love, then be my guest- “Life without love is like a tree without blossoms or fruit.” Kahlil Gibran.