Honestly? Before you even become roommates. Is that always the case? Not really. Coming out to your roommate can sometimes be more difficult than it sounds, but you gotta remember that being honest to those who you live with can be beneficial to both of you.
Most of us spend a great deal of time thinking and planning how to come out to our families, but it really doesn’t stop there. We literally come out on a daily basis. Every single time we meet a new person, that’s another person to come out to. However, coming out to a roommate is not as easy as coming out to a friend, but if you don’t do it in a timely manner, you may find yourself facing some uncomfortable living situations.
Coming Home Not Coming Out
Let’s face it, it doesn’t matter how social you may be, you always end up at home some time throughout and the last thing you want, is to come to a place you call “home” but where you still have to hide who you really are from every one in there. If you’ve been out all day, at work or school, and had a stressful day, watching the things you say or do while in your place won’t make your day any better. And to be fair, your roommate might notice that something may be going on with you and misinterpret things you say or do.
Bringing a Date Home
Not likely. If you never told your roommate you were gay prior to moving in, that also means you’re not gonna find ways to let your roommate know that. Or you may not even bring a date for fear to make your relationship with your roommate an awkward one.
Dealing With Your Roommate
Sometimes it is inevitable that we move in with someone without any prior knowledge of who they are (and vice versa), and when you agreed to move in together, it just didn’t feel right to let them know that you are gay. If you’re unlucky like me, you might end up living with a hardcore homophobic (true story) or in the brighter side, they might just not care. In that case, you should use your good judgement on whether to let them know and when, or simply let it go and find another place (I only lived with that roommate for two months).
It is not easy having to deal with society on a daily basis and our homes, should be our “safe place” to go to. So if you find yourself looking for roommates right now, make sure you move in with someone who is okay with who you are. If you’re already living with someone and haven’t come out to them yet, remember that the place you share is just as yours as it is theirs, and you should both feel comfortable living there.