The Kids Are All Right: And so is the Family

When I first saw the trailer of the movie “The Kids are All Right” which is opening on July 23rd, I must admit that my feelings were mixed about what this movie would mean to the gay community as a whole. I haven’t seen the movie yet but after finding the following comment to a discussion about the movie in the New York Times, my feelings are now a little more defined:

2.
rimantas
baltimore, md
July 21st, 2010 10:21 pm
Gay families? What’s a gay family?
Hollywood may deal in fantasy, but in the
real world the only real family is man, wife
and children, the children conceived and
nurtured by male father and female mother.
The gay part is merely a diversion, not
applicable to real life. Movies about gay
families are merel illusion.

Prior to meeting my wife, I had little knowledge about what I could expect in life from being a lesbian. At one point I even started to believe the people who would tell me that I’d end up alone- I mean, it makes sense; being gay is just a phase anyway, right?* But then I met my wife’s aunts- Yep, as in two lesbians who are committed to each other.

They have been married (got married in Canada) over 20 years ago and have a 12 year-old son. They are the most functional family I have ever met. Yes they have problems like all of us, but they’re my role models. I can only wish to be half as good to my wife as they are to each other.

They are stable- something that I’m sure my divorced parents would envy for life. But they’re not great because they’re lesbians, they’re great because they LOVE each other. I’m not making a case for lesbian families here, I’m making a case for a family. Same-sex couples are not the reason why families are being destroyed- It’s people in general why this happen. People that marry someone for money, or looks, or other situation other than love, respect and committment.

This movie disappoints me, but I’ll still go see it Sunday night to make sure my feelings are justified. I just wish Hollywood had something better to say about us than that we are desperately wanting to meet our child’s donor so we can cheat on our partners. It just saddens me. We deserve better than that.

As far as “Rimantas” goes, I wonder if he’s ever heard of single-parent families… but I guess since there isn’t a man (or woman, whatever the case) in that picture, then it’s definitely not a family.

*My mom told me that this was just a phase in 2006. I told her she was wrong. I hope she’s no longer waiting for the phase to be over.

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2 responses to “The Kids Are All Right: And so is the Family

  • Heather

    That’s a good point – it’s pretty insulting that the crux of the movie is when a long-time lesbian in a committed relationship “goes straight.” Because, of COURSE she will, right? According to Hollywood, lesbians are just women who haven’t met the right man yet.

    It’s very tiresome that we’re still having this ridiculous “what constitutes a family” debate in our country.

  • Mrs. This One

    Exactly! It’s very comforting that at least someone out there gets it.

    I feel like they ran out of creativity and the closest thing to an interesting plot they felt they could was to make the sperm donor important- Either way I don’t mind the film as much as I mind what it brings. It almost makes me wonder what happened when an interracial couple was shown for the first time in a movie…

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