See, once you get used to spending most of your time with that someone you love, you also get used to having them there for you. You no longer have to make endless calls on Friday nights trying to figure who’s free and willing to hang out with you. Or wondering what you’re gonna do for dinner because cooking for one is just an impossible task. Or how you really wanna go to that one movie but no one else seems to want to see it too and there’s no way on earth that you’re going by yourself.
Since she left I’ve eaten chips and salsa for dinner, KitKats for breakfast, watched the first and second seasons of Friday Night Lights (currently on the third one), take naps without being tired, leave work early- and I need to stop this list because if I continue, I might finally convince myself that I’m more of a loser than I think I am.
Before her, I was fine being with myself. I could just spend a whole weekend doing nothing at all or doing it all and being at peace with that. But now that I’m without her, I feel incomplete and nothing seems right (as corny as that sounds). My only consolation prize is that she’ll be back tomorrow and I won’t have to feel incomplete again (or lonely or lost or…). Tomorrow I’ll have my better half back, and I can go back to normal me; the one who actually showers and eats more than chips and salsa for dinner.
But for now, I’ll go back to watching the show (nothing like watching small town people make a big deal out of everything to feel better about yourself) while entertaining the idea of getting some donuts to feed my emotional eating cravings.
I miss you, honey.