I have heard of people who plan birthday gifts for months; and sometimes even years. I’ve heard they’re so good at giving presents that the people who get their presents are tremendously lucky to have them as friends, family or lovers. I’ve heard they’re creative, funny, charming, and mostly good in bed. I’ve heard they’re keepers; a rare breed of human beings that everyone should wish to be. And here I am, wishing to be a little bit more like them.
But I ain’t no present-giver. I’m a laughable joke at it at most. You know that aunt who always gives you an over-sized and unfashionable sweater for your birthday? Beware nephews and nieces because I’m headed that way. As sad as this may sound, this is nothing but the truth.
My best friend’s birthday (1/27) and my wife’s (1/30) are approaching and I have yet to come up with something to give them. You may say that I’ve been spending too much time blogging to remember what is like to be creative- but I promise you I’ve been giving this a lot of thought.
But really, if you don’t believe me that I’m awfully bad at this, this is what I have in mind so far:
For my friend:
- A book
- Something that looks like a book
- Maybe a different book
- A week’s supply of Clif Bars
For my wife:
- A picture of me
- A love letter
- A text message
In short, anyone who is expecting a gift from me might end up being miserable for life- because on their most special day, I couldn’t come up with something special to give them. So this is why I need your help. Now, I don’t want you to be creative for me, that would just be straight up wrong, but I do want you to steer me in the right direction.
I’ll take any idea, comment, suggestion, criticism, joke, tweet, Facebook status update or anything else that you’re willing to give me so I can at least attempt to make these two ladies happy in their most special day.