Guess What Mom & Dad…

So, I’m very embarrassed and more than ever frustrated with myself, but I have a confession to make. Despite the fact that my parents have been nothing but supportive of my sexuality; Despite the fact that my family has embraced my wife better than I could have imagined, I have yet to tell my parents about our domestic partnership.

It’s not like I don’t want to, but it’s been so long since it happened that I feel like they’ll be offended, and worse, disappointed. “Why didn’t you tell us?” Or my sister, “Why didn’t you talk to me about it? You could have at least told me.” As my wife can tell you, I hate conflict, and for financial aid purposes, it has recently become necessary for me to tell my parents so that they can sign a form saying that they won’t claim me for 2010 taxes. I need to do it soon also as the FAFSA is due in just over a month, and the form is due way before this.

Today, I’ve been thinking up ways to do it. Should I tell my mom only and have her break the news to my dad? Should I tell them both at once to be fair? How do I start? “Mom, Dad, I got married” or “Mom, Dad, I eloped” is more proper. “Mom, I have good news and bad news. The bad news is I was afraid to tell you I got married, but the good news is I get a lot more aid starting soon!” Any suggestions?

I feel like an awful daughter and an even more awful wife. It’s not at all that I’m ashamed to have gotten married. I couldn’t have imagined it any other way. Even the fact that it wasn’t necessarily the most romantic “wedding” (standing in a Mailboxes, etc., waiting to see the notary before saying our “I Do’s,” while people flooded the office during the 4:55 PM rush to get things mailed out after work) doesn’t bother me. To be honest, I’ve never wanted a big wedding, and just having my wife by my side was perfect enough for me.

Well anyone out there, wish me luck! I’ll need it…


8 responses to “Guess What Mom & Dad…

  • stilldrunk

    I suggest taking the direct and honest approach. Will they agree? Probably not. Will they be angry or upset? Probably so. However; the real question is, will they get over it? With most families the answer is yes. People often choose to overreact when they feel neglected or left out of something that they see as a big deal with someone they care about. When not included in your thought process or decision making, they may feel confused as to why you didn’t come to them for their advice or blessing. I don’t know you or your relationship with your folks, but I assume that presenting your confession with honesty and humility, but also integrity and happiness will (in due time) make things easier in the long run. If it all falls apart, and things seem like they couldn’t get any worse, just remember, you and your wife came together before God (and all those people at the Mailboxes, etc) lol for a reason. Whether it be for financial aid purposes or, hopefully, for true love you at least have two people on your side, and no matter what, those are the two people that should really matter. The rest will fall into place. My best to you, and good luck, I’d like to know how it all turns out if you go through with it, -Stilldrunk

    • Mrs. This One

      That’s exactly what I said! They’ll get over it eventually. I think it had a lot more to do with having to say to them “okay, this is real, I am in love with a girl and I’ve decided to spend my life with her and it ain’t going to change.” I was quite afraid to tell my parents too but unlike my wife, I was outed to them, so now anything I have to say to them comes quite easier.

      Thank you for your comment!

      -Mrs. This One

  • Karin

    I would just say “I got married.” That should be all you need. Treating it like it is different, I think, is saying that you worry about their opinion, which you do, but you are not regretful of your choices so treating it like you did something wrong…is wrong 🙂
    I got married in a judges office, and my father couldn’t even figure out the directions to get there, and missed it…so…not so bad! lol

  • tnavarra

    It seems your parents have been very awesome about everything and all of your life choices — a lot of parents probably wouldn’t be as great about it but I have a feeling your parents are going to be alright. I think your mom might be upset you didn’t tell her, and your dad perhaps that he wasn’t there. But I do think the direct approach is the best AND maybe you could even propose a gathering of both yours and your wife’s families to celebrate the vows 🙂

    • mrsthatone

      Thanks for continuing to read and comment.
      That’s a very good idea, and if it weren’t for time and money, I’d say we’d have already been there.
      Thanks for the support! It means a lot to me:)

  • fastapproachingmiddleage

    Oh my, best to just get it over with as quickly and gently as possible. I think what most people want, as far as a wedding, is some kind of public celebration. Maybe you could plan a family party next time you get back to see your folks? Even if they are upset that you didn’t share the actual date, they’ll still be happy for you. Fingers crossed here.

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