Hi everyone. I’m currently blogging from one of the UCLA labs and I gotta say it feels a bit weird (and a bit chilly) to say the least. Now that I’ve managed to mess up my remote access, I got no choice than to do the work I’d like to do home at school. I just finished the project I lost last week (see: “And We’re Back”) and about to start on this big research project worth about a third of my grade- fun, huh? In any case I figured a break would do me great.
I went to see my psychologist today and the best thing I got out of it is something I already knew (but stubbornly ignored as much as possible) that I create my own stress. Sure one thing is to say that and another is to write a paper when your rent is due the next day and you only have the money. In that case it is almost impossible to avoid the stress. But the doc has a point- I am the only one who can produce that stress… regardless of the situation, without me, there would be no stress.
She asked me a very important question, “if you think next quarter will be busier than this one, what would you do then?” I really couldn’t come up with an answer. I just knew that I need to look at my life a bit differently. I want good grades (who doesn’t?!) but I also have to be realistic that because of work, I simply may not have enough time to get everything done. We could say that this may hurt me when I apply to grad school, but I’m human- this is the life I have and I just need to work with what I have (I feel like I have said this before).
So today I have revised that part of me. I am starting to stop myself when I begin to worry sick about stuff that is not in my control. I need practice but I’m hoping that eventually it will come naturally.
-Mrs. This One