No Regrets

“No more talk about law school!” Chimed in my wife at about 1:30am. She was not feeling well, and I was keeping us up yet again with another law school conversation. I just can’t stop talking about it. In fact, talking about it makes me feel better because then I don’t have all of these thoughts messing up with my brain. But in making an effort not to talk about law school, allow me to change the topic:

We took our little cousin (well, he’s my wife’s cousin, but I’m pretty attached) to a movie last night, Sherlock Holmes 2. Let me tell you a little bit about him. He was the cutest little kid when I met him. Always wanting to play around with a ball. Which worked just fine with me, since I love to play soccer.

But then, some years later, he completely changed. He was no longer the soccer player, but now rather a grim teenager. He decided to go “emo.” Now he wears all black, always wears jeans, he straightens his hair, and he dies it black with streaks of different colors. Getting used to this change wasn’t easy for us (let alone for his parents). So when this trip around we find out that he’s a vegetarian, I cannot help but wonder what’s next. Since when do thirteen-year-olds become vegetarians?

We picked him up from school, and we tried to make conversation with him as we headed to the movies. He is no longer the kid full of life that he used to be. He always had a million questions, or some weird story to share. Now he just remains as quiet as possible. His demeanor made me think about what I was like at his age.

Well, not very different. Minus the “emo” part, I just didn’t spend a lot of time with my family. In fact, I was always sick when there were family reunions happening. Now that I’m so far apart from my family, I regret not taking advantage of my time better. I know everyone says we ought to live a life of no regrets, but what happens when you’re too young to know that you’re doing something you will regret?

My cousin is a bit taller than my wife, and part of the reason why he doesn’t want to each much, if at all, is because he wants to stay at that height. He wants to kill his growth. His parents can try all they want, but if this is what he wants, he will get around it somehow. What if at 25 he realizes he hates being shorter than he could have been? Will he regret what he’s doing now?

-Mrs. This One


5 responses to “No Regrets

  • terthas92

    One can watch another, one can attempt to intervene with another’s life, but one must acknowledge their own zones of comfort and imagine those of others. That being said, one can only reasonably do so much – the other will eventually need to come to terms with their own lives, be that through regret or otherwise.

    Whose to say that he will necessarily regret it, however? He may very well enjoy his height, his name, his reputation more than another could imagine. Perhaps, the question isn’t whether or not he will regret it, but whether or not he thinks he’ll regret it. It couldn’t hurt to ask him – he might even come to a more personal understanding of his interests in life.

    • Mrs. This One

      I like the way you think!

      I’ll hold on to ask though. I’ve already asked him if he thinks he’d regret getting all of his arms tattooed and he said he didn’t want to talk about it. Perhaps this is his way of learning about life, and I just forgot we all went through this. The things is that it’s so hard not wanting to protect someone you love, you know?


  • terthas92

    Thank you, kindly.

    I understand wanting to protect the ones you love – I am keen on protecting all that I can. Perhaps the way to do it, though, is through exposure to the things that we are afraid of.

    Offer to show him the “cool” sides of anything he deems interesting. Expose yourself to what you feel is dangerous and be comfortable in his understanding therein. Once you are comfortable with what’s okay about it, begin to explore with him what isn’t okay about it – instead of telling him directly what isn’t okay, ask him what he thinks isn’t okay about it. Once he’s done telling you what he thinks, ask him (don’t tell him) if he thinks other aspects of it are not okay about it as well (ask about what you think isn’t okay, without directly saying that it isn’t okay – try your best to remain neutral, he will respect that more than he’ll respect what he percieves as “tyranny”).

    • Mrs. This One

      This is one of the few things I love about the Internet- getting to interact with such a bright mind as yours! I will definitely look into how work this with him. Thankfully I have about two weeks to do so!


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