It was the beginning of September of last year. I was finishing up a summer full of work and classes, plus several training sessions for the internship I’d be doing for the upcoming academic year. I was scheduled to take the LSAT, and I really needed to get started on my applications. In addition, the fall quarter would start soon, and I was scheduled to take 16 units, including 12 honors units. Something wasn’t right.
The problem wasn’t that I spread myself too thinly. The problem was that I approached the situation at hand poorly. My doctor kept trying to get me to do yoga, and to “talk to myself” about the problem. She also really wanted me to seek help. And I tried to, but it is incredibly difficult to schedule an appointment with the counseling services at UCLA. I suppose we’re all too stressed.
My health deteriorated quickly. I would snap at my wife constantly for not being able to get a good score on Reading Comprehension. I became this person I hope I’ll never see again. Though my bad and bitter mood wasn’t my main concern. I fell sick. The type of sick where you need to see your doctor every day, and you are weak all the time. This made things worse.
I stopped working. My wife stepped up and began to work for the both of us; in addition to taking me to the doctor and making sure I was taking my pills on time. I missed a lot of days in my internship. I couldn’t take the October LSAT, and almost missed the December. Actually, I probably shouldn’t have taken it then, but I couldn’t postpone it any longer. I struggled with my classes because I didn’t do well with the narcotics. I didn’t want to, but I was forced to slow down. No more yelling, no more stressing. I couldn’t even walk at the same speed I do when healthy.
I am ashamed that it had to get this bad for me to get it. But I did. I have felt overwhelmed since then, but I strongly believe I’m a lot better now. One of my professors said it better: “problems are problems because we make them be that.” You may disagree, but in my eyes, he’s a genius. I could have been excited to take the LSAT and show off my abilities, or that I would be challenged with honor courses- instead, I chose the low road and made things worse in the end.
I know it may sound obvious to say that how you approach things makes a difference, but is it? You’re in control of your thoughts, ideas, and attitudes. You may not be able to control if someone crashes into your car, but you’re definitely capable of controlling how you’ll react after. Will you be stress and crying or will you stop and realize that this is just another part of life (accidents happen…)? It’s up to you.
–Mrs. This One