Tag Archives: College

You Know It’s Time To Slow Down When…

It was the beginning of September of last year. I was finishing up a summer full of work and classes, plus several training sessions for the internship I’d be doing for the upcoming academic year. I was scheduled to take the LSAT, and I really needed to get started on my applications. In addition, the fall quarter would start soon, and I was scheduled to take 16 units, including 12 honors units. Something wasn’t right. 

The problem wasn’t that I spread myself too thinly. The problem was that I approached the situation at hand poorly. My doctor kept trying to get me to do yoga, and to “talk to myself” about the problem. She also really wanted me to seek help. And I tried to, but it is incredibly difficult to schedule an appointment with the counseling services at UCLA. I suppose we’re all too stressed. 

My health deteriorated quickly. I would snap at my wife constantly for not being able to get a good score on Reading Comprehension. I became this person I hope I’ll never see again. Though my bad and bitter mood wasn’t my main concern. I fell sick. The type of sick where you need to see your doctor every day, and you are weak all the time. This made things worse. 

I stopped working. My wife stepped up and began to work for the both of us; in addition to taking me to the doctor and making sure I was taking my pills on time. I missed a lot of days in my internship. I couldn’t take the October LSAT, and almost missed the December. Actually, I probably shouldn’t have taken it then, but I couldn’t postpone it any longer. I struggled with my classes because I didn’t do well with the narcotics. I didn’t want to, but I was forced to slow down. No more yelling, no more stressing. I couldn’t even walk at the same speed I do when healthy. 

I am ashamed that it had to get this bad for me to get it. But I did. I have felt overwhelmed since then, but I strongly believe I’m a lot better now. One of my professors said it better: “problems are problems because we make them be that.” You may disagree, but in my eyes, he’s a genius. I could have been excited to take the LSAT and show off my abilities, or that I would be challenged with honor courses- instead, I chose the low road and made things worse in the end. 

I know it may sound obvious to say that how you approach things makes a difference, but is it? You’re in control of your thoughts, ideas, and attitudes. You may not be able to control if someone crashes into your car, but you’re definitely capable of controlling how you’ll react after. Will you be stress and crying or will you stop and realize that this is just another part of life (accidents happen…)? It’s up to you.

Mrs. This One


On a Schedule

A lot has happen, yet my mind can think of so little at this point. It is almost midnight, so that may be a factor.

There are two days left on my spring break. I will be spending those two days interning. I don’t know about you, but I’d say this is the life, right? No, you’re right, I’d rather be in Lake Tahoe.

Here’s the thing though, life is really good right now. I can’t believe things worked out so well for us. After spending the last weekend in Orange County, I definitely saw myself living there. Either for the next three years or for the long term. Yes, I feel like I’ve betrayed every Democrat out there, but unfortunately one’s gotta make a living.

I’ve met so many people in the past few days. I’m learning again to network. I used to be good at it, then I got married and the rest of the world stop being important. But now that the rest of the world could give me a job after graduation, they matter again, a lot.

What’s next then? One more quarter at UCLA, graduation, the summer, then it’ll be moving day! Crazy, right?


Finals Season

If you’ve ever been unfortunate enough to attend a university on the quarter system, you’d know that the saying “if you snooze, you lose” has never been truer. It feels like midterms happened last week. Now I’m already working on finals.

Thanks to the indecisiveness of one of my professors, I have a final paper due this coming Wednesday instead of Finals Week (which takes places next week). Due to the change coming so late in the term, I was unable to request time off from work. This is the beauty of being a working student.

Though I should admit that I am to blamed as well, I should have used my time wisely. I did catch up on some homework, met with a study group for a different class, AND applied to one of the scholarships in my list! Okay so maybe I haven’t been so terrible after all. All I got to do is keep reminding myself that after the next ten days, I will be checking into a hotel with my wife for Admitted Students Weekend. Not so terrible after all.

-Mrs. This One 


We’re Separating

How to begin without ending? Though I love knowing where I’m going this coming fall, I must admit it sucks a bit to be stuck where I am now. Next week I’ll start my second-to-last round of finals. Then one more quarter and I will be done.

After that, the Mrs. and I will be separating. Unfortunately, we decided against one of us commuting. So instead, we will go back to having two places. With Irvine being the primary one. This is really weird to think about. I can’t even begin to picture how lonely I’m going to feel. I know we’ll be too busy to think about it, but who are we kidding? This will be a big sacrifice. But at least we’ll be doing it together.

I am now in this place of in-betweenness. Wanting it to be fall, but dreading it with all my heart. You can’t win them all, right?

-Mrs. This One


Fear

I thought that after I got accepted to law school I’d be overwhelmed with excitement. And I was, until reality hit hard. 

Although I was able to overcome my weak LSAT in this admissions cycle, I cannot say the same about this cycle’s financial aid. I was hoping that my GPA and other non-LSAT factors alone would grant me some sort of aid, but scholarship offers have been lacking so far. It makes it slightly scarier that I have seen people with lower numbers (both LSAT and GPA) get something, when I’m still stuck at nada.

As a married student, I have much more to consider than a single student when making a final decision. Every loan I take will belong to a joint debt. And I can’t take this lightly.

I’ve been admitted, but this is only half the journey. Being able to afford it will be the next step.

-Mrs. This One


Having a Guy Sleepover

Will I be able to publish this post before my battery bails on me? Only time will tell. . .

I hear I’m not the only one who felt like Christmas was really nothing this year. What the hell is happening to us? Even in joyous times, we’re not enjoying ourselves. What does that say about us? The kind of people we are? The world we are leaving to our children? Our grandchildren?

We are having our little cousin over for what he termed a “guy sleepover:” cereal + videogames + electric guitars. And I thought guys only watched porn during sleepovers- or maybe that was just horny guys. Anyhow, I, of all people, should not stereotype.

Oops! It seems it’s my turn at the controller- Catch y’all later!

-Mrs. This One


No Regrets

“No more talk about law school!” Chimed in my wife at about 1:30am. She was not feeling well, and I was keeping us up yet again with another law school conversation. I just can’t stop talking about it. In fact, talking about it makes me feel better because then I don’t have all of these thoughts messing up with my brain. But in making an effort not to talk about law school, allow me to change the topic:

We took our little cousin (well, he’s my wife’s cousin, but I’m pretty attached) to a movie last night, Sherlock Holmes 2. Let me tell you a little bit about him. He was the cutest little kid when I met him. Always wanting to play around with a ball. Which worked just fine with me, since I love to play soccer.

But then, some years later, he completely changed. He was no longer the soccer player, but now rather a grim teenager. He decided to go “emo.” Now he wears all black, always wears jeans, he straightens his hair, and he dies it black with streaks of different colors. Getting used to this change wasn’t easy for us (let alone for his parents). So when this trip around we find out that he’s a vegetarian, I cannot help but wonder what’s next. Since when do thirteen-year-olds become vegetarians?

We picked him up from school, and we tried to make conversation with him as we headed to the movies. He is no longer the kid full of life that he used to be. He always had a million questions, or some weird story to share. Now he just remains as quiet as possible. His demeanor made me think about what I was like at his age.

Well, not very different. Minus the “emo” part, I just didn’t spend a lot of time with my family. In fact, I was always sick when there were family reunions happening. Now that I’m so far apart from my family, I regret not taking advantage of my time better. I know everyone says we ought to live a life of no regrets, but what happens when you’re too young to know that you’re doing something you will regret?

My cousin is a bit taller than my wife, and part of the reason why he doesn’t want to each much, if at all, is because he wants to stay at that height. He wants to kill his growth. His parents can try all they want, but if this is what he wants, he will get around it somehow. What if at 25 he realizes he hates being shorter than he could have been? Will he regret what he’s doing now?

-Mrs. This One


Tree Trimming Party

I started the day with a compliment on my writing. That seriously made my day, so thank you allisongolan!

Today my fall grades are due. Three professors have not activated their gradebook, so it is very unlikely that they will actually follow the deadline this time. They really never do- but I never lose hope. God forbid we are late turning in a paper or that we take an exam on a different date. I wish students could hold professors with the same accountability. Yes, yes, I know they’ve done all these things and they deserve it and so on and on. This is why I don’t write a letter to the dean about it. Like he/she would do anything about it anyway.

Anyhow, my wife and her sister are on their way to the doctor. They’re getting checked out for the cancer gene. In case you missed it, my MIL is a breast cancer survivor, so chances are that my love and her sister may have to go through the same at some point. The appointment was only for my SIL. But at the last minute, my MIL suggested my wife go too. She looked at me for confirmation and I saw the pain in her eyes. It broke my heart. She was probably thinking that we’re supposed to be having a vacation, free from stress. But if this is what’s best for her, then we just have to go through it. I stayed at home because I’m supposed to be working on my law school applications. Once I get through with this post, I’ll get on that- I think. The Mrs. has already submitted her graduate school applications. I’m jealous, I wish I could say the same.

Tonight we are having a tree trimming party. Which I understand to be a gathering in which we all decorate the tree. Well, this is what the tree looks like now:

To be decorated...

My hope is that tonight, I can follow up with a stunningly decorated tree. Keyword: “my hope.”

The only issue I’ll have is that the Steelers are playing tonight. Maybe I’ll be able to find a way to balance the game and the party. Oh, and did I mention we are only allowed to wear pajamas to this party?

-Mrs. This One


The Packers are being Packed

This game doesn’t look so good for the Packers. They were down by six at the end of the first half. The Chiefs aren’t quite converting their plays into touchdowns, but they’re managing. Orton is playing injured, but playing good nonetheless. I hope that if the Packers do end up losing, it won’t ruin my FIL’s mood. He’s been in the nicest spirit since I’ve met him. Even made us breakfast this morning!

As I watch the game, I flip through the pages of “Night Watch.” I’ve owned this book for more years than I can remember. For some reason though, I was only able to read some fifty pages before I put it away for a long time. I picked it up once more recently, and can’t quite understand what happened before. It is a very intriguing story- I like the characters and I sure love the fact that it’s happening in England, right after the end of WWII. Maybe school got in the way before? We might never know.

Anyhow, I’m feeling super weird today. Until recently, I had been thinking that today was Monday. Never mind the football game, or that my FIL was at home watching it (he works office hours), I didn’t connect the dots. I even kept checking my grades frantically since Monday is the deadline for the professors to boost or ruin my GPA (not that they ever stick to deadlines). I also keep feeling like there’s something I’m supposed to do but nothing comes to mind. Perhaps I was kept on my toes for so long this past quarter, that I haven’t quite adjusted to the routine of having nothing to do or nowhere to be. Funny how that works- I looked forward to this moment so much after going through a week of school without being able to take any Vicodin (I was in pain 24/7). I hoped so much that I could not worry for a moment about being sick or having a paper to write for just a couple of days. And now that I’m here where I wanted to be, I keep feeling like I’m forgetting to do something. It’s almost as annoying as getting to a place and wondering the whole time if you remembered to lock your car door, but not being able to go back and check.

I think I hear the game starting again…

-Mrs. This One


Has Technology Changed Our Culture?

Today in one of my seminars, this question came up. To my surprise (and my professor’s, I’m sure), there were people who sincerely (and stubbornly) believed that there’s no way technology could ever change a culture. One of them said that culture changes technology (Guy). Another said that it was a “dynamic relationship” (Girl). And the others didn’t even have arguments worth remembering.

The class turned into a mini-debate on the subject. Guy made the argument that we are the same people, we just use different tools. Girl somewhat supported his argument, but added a little example. “Think about back in the day when people ate berries. One of them finally figured out that they could use a stone as a weapon and kill that animal. And now they ate animals!” This was her way of showing that culture and technology interacted with each other, but had no effect on each other. About three classmates and myself sided with the idea that technology can DEFINITELY change a culture. So after Girl’s argument, I said: “you just proved our point.”

I then offered my counterargument. After listening to their flawed arguments, it was clear to me that they were throwing around the term “technology” without having a concise idea of what it meant. I explained to them that technology isn’t just something digital- but that the term included other things. A bottle, for example, is a technology- because it helps us carry and conserve water. Then, I tackled why Girl’s argument was actually evidence supporting my own argument. The people (from back in the day) were now meat eaters. This involved so many different changes including how they gathered, cooked, and ate their meals. AND how eating meat would affect their bodies. This technology, in this case the stone used as a weapon, definitely changed a culture (think of hunter-gatherers becoming farmers!).

The most interesting thing of all is that Guy and Girl still would not agree with what I explained above. They were short of saying that it made no sense. But I think their ulterior motive was that admitting you were wrong about something is not easy for some to do. I do admit though, that we are all ENTITLED to have a different opinion. So if they really want to stand and say that technology does not inflict change, then be ready to look extremely uneducated. I mean, you’re UCLA students, be proud to show off your education.

Now I turn this back to you. What do you think? Can technology change a culture?

-MTO


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