I grew up in a foreign land (to most Americans). I spent most of my childhood traveling and it allowed me to see many beautiful places. When I say traveling, I don’t mean the vacation type, but rather a different kind. My grandparents traveled a lot for work and I tagged along sometimes. At times we stayed in hotels, but this was the exception rather than the rule. And when we did stay in hotels, they were very cheap ones. Either way, I got to do pretty cool things: I swam in rivers, climbed mountains, and explored exotic trails. I never went camping or fishing in the traditional sense, but I had my share of adventures outdoors.
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I ditched everything to go on a little road trip with my wife. We “escaped” last night as soon as our classes were over, and after notifying people that we couldn’t make it today to whatever commitments we had with them.
Tonight I watched an episode of One Tree Hill that focused on letting go of relationships (mostly friendships) because people come and go. This episode was from the last season, but to those who have watched this show long term, you’d know that one of the main themes in this show has been that “people always leave.”
Coincidentally, I texted an old friend who is currently in the process of applying to schools. Seeing a news story about UCLA sending out admissions offers in error to some 800 applicants (don’t get me started with this) made me think of her and I got curious enough to ask if she had heard from schools already. To my surprise, she let me know that she had deleted my phone number because she didn’t feel our friendship was healthy. I didn’t really bother to ask her for details and simply wished her luck with schools. The fact that I didn’t fight for it, might hint to trouble in our friendship. But really I didn’t see our relationship as having any kind of trouble. In fact, I thought our friendship would be the kind in which our future children would become good friends. Little did I know.
The weird thing is that I’ve also felt like I’m losing other old friends- including my closest friend. But at the same time, I’m gaining new friends. I’m not sure if this means that it is true that people always leave. But if I keep going at this rate, I will not have people to reminisce with twenty years from now. In fact, as of right now I don’t even have childhood friends since I’ve moved so much in my life.
–Mrs. This One
I’d be a liar if I said I didn’t believe it could happen when I held that ticket in my hand. Why not? It happens to some people, why couldn’t it be us? The reality is that we’re trapped by human nature. Most of us wish for things we don’t have. Why? Because we don’t have them. Think about it. Look around you and find something you really wanted to buy. How long did you stop caring about it after you bought it?
What would I have done with all that money? Pay my debt (insert three years of law school tuition here) and those of our families. I would have put money away for the college tuition of my kids, my little sister, and my wife’s little cousin. I would have given some away to people who needed it. Then I would have invested the rest. Oh wait, I would have taken my grandmother on a cruise. See, my grandmother grew up in poverty and never had much. Sometimes I’m bothered by the fact that my fridge has more food than she ever saw growing up. I’d like to give her a trip. A nice vacation. Though she’d probably be content with just having me around. Grandmothers…
The dream has ended though, and I’m back to real life. I think the Mrs. mentioned someone in Maryland scored. Good for them. They probably needed it more since they live in that state. Just kidding. Kind of.
-Mrs. This One
Tonight we went to the UCLA vs. Washington State basketball game. Although it may come as a surprise to several Sports Illustrated staff, we actually won this game with enough room to let the benchwarmers take a few shots. As a student season holder, I got to sing, cheer, yell, clap, and smile to what may have been my last UCLA basketball game as an undergraduate student. I even dare to say that there was something particularly special about the bacon-wrapped hot dog I had during half time.
If you’ve read enough of us you’d know that I’ve never claimed to have had an awesome undergraduate career. Tonight I saw this part of my life with new eyes. It may not have been great but it was mine. I’ve been made a Bruin, and I will die a Bruin. Maybe I didn’t get to change to the world yet, but perhaps this was my starting point. Tonight I felt young, even though I know I’m aging quickly. The Los Angeles Sports Arena may not be our actual home, but for some reason it sure felt like it.
Moving to a new city, going to a new school, I don’t think I’ve understood this well until now. It is the beginning of something exciting, of something I’ve been wanting for so long. But if I’m beginning something, that means I’m also ending something else, leaving it behind.
Life goes on whether you want it or not. It doesn’t let you catch a breath or take a minute to rest. If I stop everything around me will go on and I will have to catch up to it. Maybe I’ve finally caught up with the situation at hand.
I’m a Bruin for life.
-Mrs. This One
For the past few weeks, I keep opening the “new post” page, only to close it a few seconds later. The reason? I don’t really know how to think about something that doesn’t involve law school.
I could say, “hey, it’s the rest of my life, I have to think about it.” But given that most people are uncertain about what they want to do with their lives, I can’t blame many for not understanding what this feels like. I mean, how ridiculously crazy is it to think that my life is about to change drastically, and I have no control over it? Sure you could say that I have the ultimate decision as to what school I will ultimately attend, but in reality, they hold all the cards.
Think of money. Because of my silly little score, I’m not expecting any money. But say I were offered some. Say I get into two schools: Dreamy Law School, and Somewhat Decent Looking School. At this point, the choice seems obvious, DLS. But what if SDLS happens to offer me a scholarship and DLS doesn’t? What to do then? What if one city has a lower cost of living, but living cheaper would also mean for us to live apart, where can I find the balance then?
I’m under review at 5 schools as of tonight. Wish me luck guys, I’m going to need it.
-Mrs. This One
Well, all of my law school applications are in. I added about three more applications to my cycle at the last minute, and I feel really good about that decision. I will have to wait for months before any school renders a decision, and the questions in my mind become too overwhelming from time to time: What if I have to move? What about a summer job? Will I get any scholarships? Will I be in the same area as my wife? And if not, will it be worth it not to be?
To these questions, my wife will probably say that I need to wait until all of the acceptances, rejections, and waitlists are on the table. But can you blame it for thinking about it?
-Mrs. This One
I will not address the Steelers’ loss in this entry, but I will admit it hurts.
There is a bit of resentment lingering in the air due to tomorrow being Monday already. I’ve been trying so hard to make tomorrow be as far as possible, but I don’t think it has worked at all. I am usually excited and looking forward to new clases, but this time around, it is just a reminder of being extremely busy, and having to deal with bosses and unhappy customers. On the other hand, it will take my mind off of law school admissions for most of the days.
I have three classes tomorrow. I have homework due for two of them already. I’ve been trying to work on one of those, but all I can think about is how I want to play video games so badly. Or watch a movie. Anything but having to give myself to school again.
It makes me think that I’m going to have to really enjoy myself this summer, because once law school starts, then I’ll really understand what having no leisure time means. Sigh.
-Mrs. This One